Sunday Sermon: Letter To The Single Girl

By Amara Blessing

It is the desire of every man or woman to someday become one with the opposite sex; nature made it so. As 

a Christian, I know that it is written in the Holy Scripture that God, after creating man, decided to make the 

woman for companionship which is the first and main reason for marriage.

Every human being, no matter how strong we are, yearns for companionship. From birth, we have the love 

and attention of our parents and as we grow up, we begin to desire that love and care that comes from the 

opposite sex. This is a very wonderful feeling and it is natural. It is this yearning for companionship that has 

led many young girls to do wrong things to get what they want. I support people having relationship with the 

opposite sex, but carefulness and decency remain the watchword.

Our culture has also made it in such a way that parents begin to worry about the future of their son or 

daughter the moment they leave secondary school. This worry becomes worst the day they graduate from 

the university without having a man in their lives.
It is the desire of every parent to carry his or her grandchild 

before death. This makes them put pressure on their children for marriage.

But how do we satisfy these desires of our parents when money is all that matters in our society? Isn’t it sad 

how, even parents have traded the future of their children on the altar of money? I wrote about a young girl 

who lives big in Abuja, courtesy our ex VP. This girl was not even cautioned by her own parents-how much 

we hate our own blood just because of money.

The ex VP bought the latest land cruiser for her father, houses, and placed him on a monthly salary.
What 

responsible father will trade the future of his daughter just for temporary pleasures? Now this girl has seen 

the reality and does not want to set her eyes on the father; what a pity

She wasted her youth and made no good use of her beauty. There were suitors all over her, but she was too 

occupied with the wealth she was enjoying that she had no time to see them. She saw those young men as 

small rats just because the ex VP was there. The painful thing about this kind of life is that you are blinded 

while it lasted, but the moment you want to make amends, you realize it’s too late for you. Now, her body is 

gone and even with all the money and external beauty, her vaginal muscles are weak due to anal sex.

What young man will go for that kind of a girl? But don’t get me wrong, some gigolos are after her now and 

you know how that kind of relationship ends.

This lady is not the only one going through this; a lot of girls are leaving in eternal pain today because they 

traded their happiness and future for the pleasures of this world. A good number of young girls are living big 

in Abuja, Lagos, and Port-Harcourt. They sleep during the day and work at night. You envy them when they 

tell you they are into contracts and international businesses. Whenever they go to their villages (if at all they 

do), their mothers are proud of them without knowing what they are into.

How many of our young girls living in good houses and driving the best of cars are actually working? Isn’t it 

surprising to see very hardworking and gainfully employed ladies not living as big as the jobless ones? What 

about our so called celebrities? You call them celebrities; I see a good number of them as mere prostitutes. I 

am disappointed with some organizations that use these ones as role models for our youths. How can 

someone who goes naked on screen and kisses everything kissable with tattoos all over her body suddenly 

become a role model to African youths?

Men are coming now for your hand in marriage, but you keep looking at them as fools who don’t know their 

levels. That top politician is paying the bills and all you do is move from one country to the other on holidays 

and probably run a very big shop in the FCT, Allen Avenue, or Awolowo Road, Ikoyi. Have you at all sat 

down to think about the future?

I also haven’t forgotten the story of a top Abuja fashion designer who has been married for about thirteen 

years now without a child. I just pity our young men who just get married to beauty without checking out the 

background. This very lady was sponsored by a late bank chairman and who she promised marriage only for 

her to settle for a young blood after the man had bought her houses and trained her in UK schools. Before 

the man died, he placed a curse on her saying she will never get pregnant not to talk of having a baby.

In your desperation for wealth, you are selling out your birthright. You are losing great opportunities of 

settling down with a man or securing a good job just because there is someone somewhere paying the bills. 

Your future is being destroyed by you and don’t forget, that man has his family somewhere. He is married 

with his children all doing well somewhere. Where are your own husband and children? What legacy are you 

leaving behind-cars and holidays?

Don’t forget he came to you for what he is getting now and you may not be the way you are in the next five 

years. You will get enough money from him now or possibly get a very good position at work (courtesy 

Alhaji and Senator), but he is also succeeding in turning your body into what it shouldn’t be. By the time you 

start changing due to age, he turns to the girl next door.

You may be lying to yourself believing that the moment you are ready for marriage, you can get any kind of 

man with your money. How do you feel when you look at your type, those women who made the same 

mistake you are making now? How do you feel when you see them with their “handbag husbands”? Do you 

think they are proud of themselves? And the truth is that the boy does not love you because of anything 

positive; he wants the money in your bank account and the moment he gets it, he knows where to get the 

good girl.

What about your character? Some girls are too decent, hardworking, cultured, and religious, but you see 

them having this problem of marriage. Character is everything in a woman. You are not married because 

when guys come around you, they see nothing but a girl without character. When a man, a real Nigerian man, 

wants to get married, he looks for answers to these questions:

Is she a home girl? You can’t be a home girl when all you do is move from one night club to the other and 

from one cinema to another. Get back into your mother’s kitchen please.

Can she keep my home?

Is she godly? He will ask this question because he wants his children to be raised by a godly woman.

Does she have those motherly attributes in her?

Will she love my mother? This question is necessary because you could be one of those praying for his 

mother not to be alive when he is ready for you.

Can she satisfy me? How well do you take care of your body? Please don’t be deceived; you can never be 

good sexually just because you are old in the game.

Can I trust her? A very important question because he needs to trust you with his finance and love.

Any marriage that is entered into with these questions answered turns out good. But with the kind of lifestyle 

you are into, your type will come to you and when this happens, the rest of your life will be lived in pain. Our 

men can be crazy all round, but when it comes to marriage, they know where to turn to because people like 

you are just there as sex toys.

It is always better learning from other people’s stories, but if you choose not to learn, other people are going 

to learn from your story. And what are you going to tell your children in the future (if at all your womb hasn’t 

been sacrificed for money)?

You should always have it in mind that no matter how much they profess to be in love with you, a married 

man will never love you more than his wife. He is not after you because he loves you; he loves your body 

and what he is getting out of it. Trading your future for the pleasures of the moment can only lead you to 

eternal pain.

Source: Amara Blessing